Allen Snook

Quick Quiz: Today is noteworthy for which of the following reasons:

1. It is the last day of the year.
2. Disassembly of the motorcycle ended, and assembly with the replacement parts began.
3. The snow has melted enough that I was able to get to the gym without getting stuck.
4. I have recommitted myself to an exercise and weight loss goal one day before everyone else.
5. I recorded a few songs in the wee hours of the morning.
6. All of the above.

The correct answer is, as you might suspect is #6.

And the thing all of these (except for #1) has in common is that they each required action on my part. All of these things feed into big goals (motorcycle trip to Alaska, fitness and weight loss goals, creative goals). And it’s little things, step by step, inch by inch, that get us to those big things.

Yesterday was messier. I got the SUV stuck in the mud and snow and managed to get a nail in a tire in the process. The flat tire really felt like a big step backwards, not feeding any higher purpose whatsoever – and possibly undermining a financial goal. An hour and a half of time at the tire shop though, felt pretty good – it was some much needed time to myself. I had a new book, and it actually worked out ok – and they even fixed the tire for free. A much anticipated part for the motorcycle finally arrived at the post office – only it wasn’t the correct part. A confusion of left and right. I’ll have to get the correct part or find a way to restore the damaged part I already have.

All this to say that it reminded me that progress toward my goals won’t always be at a perfectly consistent pace – life is fundamentally messy and unpredictable after all – and it does a soul good to keep that in mind. Some days leaps and bounds forward, some days small steps, even backwards. Accepting this simple truth is important for your sanity, and to help you persevere to the prize.

Happy New Year…

Santa brought a Wii Fit down the chimney this year. It’s includes a touch sensitive floor pad that you stand on and a bunch of “games” that work with the pad to simulate skiing and running (and step aerobics and more) as well as develop your balance and posture. But what I think it most powerful is a feature I didn’t know about until we started using it. It’s a goal setting and progress tracking feature. You enter the BMI (Body Mass Index) goal and time frame, and it shows your progress towards that goal. Progress is collected automatically since the floor pad weighs you each time you use Wii Fit.

It’s a beautifully simple way of setting a goal, measuring progress, removing obstacles and adjusting your behaviors to drive towards the goal. It’s very close to the system I use for my own personal goals (although my system involves paper and pencil and doesn’t include animated computer figures.)

If you have the means, I highly recommend picking up a Wii Fit.

I’m putting together a workshop talk for setting and achieving personal goals. I’ll keep you posted on how that develops. My big goals for 2009 are starting the workshops and accomplishing my Alaska Motorcycle Adventure – my first trip to Alaska –my first trip to Alaska on a motorcycle. Lots of next steps for each of those big goals, lots to do, lots of chances to remember to enjoy and savor the journey on the way to each goal.

What are your goals for the new year?

One piece at a time, again. Despite two feet of snow, the United States Post Office still delivered yesterday. I think that’s pretty cool – I wasn’t really expecting them to risk life and limb for the usual stack of junk mail. But it wasn’t junk mail. It was the next set of parts for Lil’ Red, my motorcycle. Springs and nuts and bolts and mounting hardware for the engine. In a word… progress!

The garage is cold, but I will persevere and get the valve cover off next. I’ll probably be replacing the valve cover gasket – after cleaning up the engine and that cover, I noticed yesterday fresh oil seeping from a damaged area on the gasket. A little cleaning up helps reveal where a problem is – I think that’s probably one of those “fortune cookie” truisms that applies to life too. For me, the cleaning up involves clearing the calendar, clearing my life of those unimportant things that I don’t really line up with my deepest purposes – and yet I clutter up my calendar with them and crowd out progress on my goals. Today I sat down and used my planner to enter in some time for my various goals this week and next. Sorta like envelope budgeting, but for time.

And speaking of goals and progress, I am a big fan of a website called 43 things – it is a simple concept – you enter and prioritize your goals, your bucket list (yes, motorcycle ice racing is on there) and you can track your progress. A lot of people share similar goals or the exact same goals, and you can cheer each other on.

And, later today, I’ll brave the cold of the garage and start putting the shift linkage together with the new parts, and get that cover off. One step at a time. One piece at a time.

About a foot of snow has fallen in the last day or so. And it’s still coming down. And, of course, that means school is cancelled, and attempting the commute is just not worth it today. So, I’ll plug in remotely today and do my duty. But not without some distraction. Yes, that’s right Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he’s alive and well in the sport of motorcycle ice racing, coming to Everett in January.

I think I know what I’m adding to my bucket list.

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.

For want of a shoe the horse was lost.

For want of a horse the rider was lost.

For want of a rider the battle was lost.

For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

I spent a couple hours this weekend past working on Lil’ Red. With her engine out of her frame, I was able to gain access to the gear shift linkage. The cover came off with a bit of work, and revealed the ratchet mechanism I had basically memorized from the repair manual. Nothing looked wrong right off the bat. I removed the locking plate and then the pawls and plunger assembly. And that’s when I found a problem – I think it’s probably the problem. One of the springs, one of the tiniest little things, was compressed and broken. It is a spring that rides inside a plunger, which presses a pawl, which forces the shift drum to complete the downshift initiated by the foot pedal. Here’s a picture.

I ordered replacement springs and they should be here in a few days. I also ordered a ton of other parts that need replacing that I discovered along the way (such as a missing engine bushing, a missing petcock bolt, etc, etc.) The parts should all be here just in time for winter break. I am confident that Lil’ Red will soon be purring and ripping up pavement like she hasn’t in a long, long time.

Do you know what your sin is?

For me, it’s a question of control.

I feel a lot of anxiety trying to keep everyone around me doing what I think they should be doing. Doing those things that I believe will create a utopian ideal, smooth life for all. It’s an arrogant attitude that this control, this manipulation and meddling, is for their own good, and so I do not have to deal with bad behavior. Control issues. It’s time to renounce them.

I renounce the sin of trying to keep loved ones happy. I embrace speaking the truth.

I renounce the sin of trying to keep upper management happy. I embrace speaking the truth.

I renounce the sin of trying to convince the volunteers I work with to cooperate with others and not compete. I embrace that they want to compete, and I don’t. I may need to find something else to do.

I renounce the sin of trying to keep the kids too well behaved. I embrace that they are full of energy and while I need to set limits, I don’t need to set them as narrow as I have.

I renounce the sin of fearing abandonment for speaking the truth. Whatever happens, I can handle it.

I renounce the sin of allowing the opinions of others to drive my decisions. They have inputs, but I need to pull my own red wagon here.

I renounce the sin of being afraid of bad things happening, so I try to control situations so they don’t. Life is messy. That is the truth. To try to contain the chaos will kill me.

I renounce this joyless living I have been doing (it’s hard to be joyful when you’re nervously watching and waiting for something bad to happen.) I embrace joy.

With God’s help.

“Perhaps the saddest thing about…idealists – is that most of them have lost faith not only in their leaders, but also in themselves. They no longer believe in their ability to change the world and have convinced themselves that words and ideas are more important than deeds. They often denounce, but rarely act. Thus, they combine the vice of pride with the vice of sloth.”

- From “7 Deadly Sins” by Aviad Kleinberg

Or, as the King put it…

“A little less conversation, a little more action.”

Do you find yourself sometimes striving for an unattainable idealized version of yourself? Or maybe you find yourself frequently frustrated with the imperfections in others? I know I do both, and it’s something worthy of repentance. There’s a line in a Jenny Lewis song that goes like this…

In Hollywood…

and Washington…

they shake and smile through the harm they’ve done…

but it’s your little red wagon and…

you’ve got to pull it.

And the inclusion of Hollywood in that list set my mind to thinking, and I think I know what it means to me… the movies flash beautiful compelling images of manly and womanly perfection. They know the perfect lines to say to the bad guy, they make the right moves at the right time to avoid the bullets, to catch the falling, to do all the miraculous things. They look sculpted and beautiful, the women with fantastically large chests and equally skinny waists.

But life is messy. And we are not perfect. And if we measure ourselves against the movie star and the centerfold and the mythic figures of legend, we will always come up lacking.

Having a goal is great – if that goal is realistic and attainable. Yes, hard work will probably be required, but the goal needs to be realistic. Otherwise, we will labor to cross an uncrossable chasm. We will burn ourselves out in the process, and we will stop enjoying the journey.

I think I’m in that situation now. I want to be perfect in the things I do, I want to be over my hang ups and problems. Completely. I want to be perfectly strong, assertive, loving.

It’s an unattainable ideal.

My little red wagon… the little red wagon that is me, that is my soul… it has some parts that will always be a little scratched. Some of the wheels will always slip or drag a bit, but that’s OK. Some of the paint will always be faded. But it’s still a fine wagon, and it’ll still take me places. I will tend to it, oil it, paint it, but I will not try to make it perfect. So much time and effort would go into trying that I’d never have time to pull my little red wagon anywhere. I will learn to accept me the way I am. And others too.

(And yes, my moto is teaching me this too. She will be 25 years old in January, and she will never be perfect. But she will be good enough.)

One of the things that I’ve wrestled with as I’ve worked to move beyond people-pleasing is indecisiveness. I have avoided making decisions from the very mundane to the very high-stake – allowing others to choose for me. I have refused to lead in my own life.

I was once talking a lunch-time walk with a co-worker. We got to a point in the walk where we had to choose a direction. We stopped, and I asked her which way she wanted to go. She refused to say. “No, you tell me first. You decide.” Hesitantly, I chose a direction and we continued walking. As we did so, she pointed out to me that she noticed that it was a pattern with me – refusing to say what I wanted – leaving decisions and leading up to others most of the time. She was right.

While refusing to lead can make it easier to avoid some condemnation for failures and mistakes, it also feeds frustration and ultimately resentment – ’cause what you want must wait patiently for someone else to want it first – and that’s not likely to happen all that often.

To overcome being nice, and to get what you want (or at least improve the chances) – you’re going to have to start piping up. I have, and it’s making a positive difference in my life.

And it’s not just about getting what you want – it’s also about giving those around you a chance to learn about you – your hopes, desires and dreams – to experience the real you fully.

So how do you start? You have to start practicing. I’ve come up with a little memory device that has been helping me and I will pass it onto you. It’s a simple acronym: S.L.I.C.K.

S – State what you want to do.

L – Listen to what feedback others give – what do they want to do?

I – Integrate what they have said into your decision making process. Seek a balance here. Don’t give them all the weight in the decision, and don’t give them none.

C – Commit to a decision. State it out loud.

K – Keep to it – follow through and do what you said you would do. Watch out for the urge to backtrack or re-evaluate the decision. Yes, it’s ok to change your mind, but you’re probably doing it so much as a “nice” person that you have no integrity left.

For example, say you want to have a night out with the guys. You might say to your wife, “Hey, I would like a night out with the guys. Tuesday or Wednesday would be really good. What do you think?” Your wife might reply “Tuesday is no good for me, Wednesday would work.” Easy example – integrating the feedback, you commit with a reply, “OK, Wednesday it is – I’ll be going out with the guys on Wednesday night.” And come that Wednesday – you go. That’s really important – that builds your integrity.

Now, sometimes the Integrate step isn’t going to be that easy – but stick to it – resist the urge to set your want aside (you’ve done that already and you know how that usually ends up.) And practice, practice, practice. Building up this strength will take time, much like with exercise.

Oh, and make some the decisions fun ones (like chocolate or strawberry ice cream for dessert.) All work and no play will burn you out, and hinder your progress along the path to being real.

Good luck and good practice!

Work on Lil’ Red is progressing. I’ve started the difficult but exciting task of removing her engine from the frame so I can gain access to the gear shift linkage mechanism and, if needed, crack the cases to gain access to the shifting forks and drum.

It is truly both difficult and exciting, and it took a few hours just to remove the fuel tank, coils, rectifier and carbs (first time I’ve done this sort of work since high school.) And although it is difficult and takes a long time, it is truly exciting, because each piece that comes off gets me closer to seeing what’s causing the downshifting problem, but even more so because each piece that comes off bequeaths a little knowledge.

A little knowledge about how the motorcycle fits together, how she works, how gas and air and fabricated metal combine to create power and rapture.

I’ve added some more pictures to the restoration page here:

http://www.allensnook.com/cms/?page_id=97

I should have the engine out of the frame this weekend. I’m also going to try to find more things in my life that are both difficult and exciting, and try to minimize those things that are difficult and unrewarding.